Florida stinks

Yeah, so don’t go getting your panties in a wad before you let me explain. This isn’t a stab at the University of Florida Gators. If you’re a regular reader of my irregular blog, then you already know we visited The Swamp last October and had a grand time (even though my Hogs got beat). I still don’t want to lose to the Gators, but their fans were dang nice to us.

And this isn’t about how hot it is here. I got that a bunch when I moved here…but that question just revealed to me that the question-asker didn’t know much about Mississippi. It’s “hotter” there. The actual temperature may be a little higher here, but the humidity is higher in Mississippi—or at least it feels like it. But that might have to do with the fact that it’s nearly always windy here in Orlando, but in Mississippi, when it’s a hunert degrees and the wind ain’t blowin’—it’s dang hot. Much hotter than anything I’ve felt here.

And it isn’t about the crowds and traffic. It’s crowded here and there’s a lot of rudeness going on. I blame it on the over-saturation of rude Yankees but I have no scientific (census) data to back that up. Could be that there’s just so many people on vacation and they’re all worked up and in a hurry to get to their next touristy spot. It reminds me a lot of Los Angeles here in that the population is spread out and not tall, like, say, a New York City. I definitely do not like the traffic. I do my very best to avoid it at all costs. So, while anyone who knows me knows that I’m definitely not a fan of either, it’s not those things.

No, what I mean is that there is an actual stinky smell here. It’s not all over, but in patches. I notice it every now and again when driving. My initial reaction when passing these spots is that I’m passing the poopy-lakes…but I’m not convinced that is the case. After more than a single nostril-full whiff, it’s stinky, but not sewage stinky.

My theory—at this point—is that because this central Florida area is the home of thousands of tiny bodies of water (they call a lot of them “lakes” when we’d call them “ponds” back home) and those bodies of water are often filled with stale water…sometimes that stale water gets to smelling a bit rancid…and so…it stinks.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it…unless someone gives me a better explanation.



Filed under General

2 responses to “Florida stinks

  1. It’s also humid in Arkansas, as in this week! Seems summer has hit a few days before its actual calendar time. I agree about the Florida breezes. Heat’s not so bad when you have a breeze.

  2. Brave writer. Accenting the negative! 🙂 Sounds reasonable to me!

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